In Memorium

William L. (Bill) Connor, 50, jubilantly cast off his human covering and returned to spirit on Tuesday, September 2, 2008, certain to be greeted by his two heroes in this life, his beloved son, Jaran, and his lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
Born to Marge Connor in Saint Paul, MN, on March 1, 1958, Bill’s childhood was filled with challenges that he would later credit as instrumental in shaping his adult view of the world. With no family car to travel the local streets, Bill grew adept at using the city transit system, where he typically rode free of charge, having learned early in his life the benefits of having charisma. The hundreds of bus rides made him develop an early love of motor coaches, and eventually led him to shed the responsibilities of a credit card bank president to form Prairie Coach Trailways which he ran out of Dell Rapids. He was never happier than when he was behind the wheel of one of the twelve buses in his fleet.
Since Bill’s childhood was so deficient in the things of the world, he learned to find joy in giving rather than receiving, a trait that influenced him as he matured. An ordinary day for Bill would be turned into a joyful one if he found an opportunity to help someone in some small way. For Bill, it was never about, “What can you do for me?” but “How can I help you?” After his son, Jaran was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer in 1999, Bill was inspired to form a nonprofit corporation, appropriately named Angel Bus. The mission of Angel Bus was to coordinate travel for terminally ill children in luxury motor coaches around the country. Before his illness, Bill personally drove several Angel Bus missions. He was always humbled by the opportunity to serve those most in need.
Bill was diagnosed with acute leukemia 20 days after his son passed away in 2004, and has been fighting the disease in one form or another since then, with rare periods of remission. When first diagnosed four years ago, Bill’s goal was to live to celebrate his 50th birthday. He met that goal this year. Shortly afterward, the leukemia fiercely returned. Bill was currently undergoing chemotherapy in preparation of a stem cell transplant when infection took his life. To Bill, the leukemia didn’t win, God just had a new job assignment for him to do in heaven.
Left to celebrate his wonderful life are his wife of 10 years, Nola from Colton; mother, Marge Hughes in Brainerd, MN; foster parents Grant and Judith Johnson in Pillager, MN; daughter Anika (Jake) Athman and their daughter, Ava, of Sartell, MN; several brothers and sisters spread around the country, and beloved friends Mary Schmidt, Nate and Kristy Heinert, Roy and Elaine Van Liere, and many others too numerous to mention who have been cherished prayer warriors through the best and worst of times. Special appreciation is extended to the physicians at Avera Hematology (Kelly, Vinod, Steve) and their nursing staff who all provided extraordinary medical care to Bill throughout the last four years. In every possible way, they truly cared for Bill’s life. Left to mourn Bill is his treasured Golden Retriever, Reagan, from whom Bill learned many lessons in the fine art of unconditional love and the power of patience.
At Bill’s request, a private memorial service will be held. In lieu of flowers or memorial gifts to the family, it is requested that all memorials be directed to the nonprofit River of Hope Foundation who so selflessly and lovingly provided Bill with his dream landscape and pond in the last days of his life. Contributions to bless other cancer patients with a “river of hope” can be sent to the River of Hope Foundation in care of First National Bank in Dell Rapids, SD 57022.

Tears flow freely on earth, but it's "Shoutin' Time in Heaven"

Late this afternoon, Bill passed quietly away in the Avera ICU unit, accompanied by our dear friends Mary Schmidt and Nate Heinert (and me, of course). He fought as hard as anyone could be expected to fight, and his reward is the peace and love found only in heaven. It was Bill's wish to have a small, private cermony, so we are working on those plans now.

One of his favorite poems was by W H Auden, and I'd like to share it with you tonight because it expresses exactly how I feel at this time:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.



Tonight, Bill sails, freely and unencumbered, into the heavens he so certainly deserves. May he rest in perfect peace.

Love,
Nola

Sunday Night Update

Dear Friends:

Bill continues a heroic fight for his life tonight. Mary and I visited him this morning and again this afternoon. He remains on breathing support and kidney dialysis, along with many other medications and apparatus that are helping him sustain a slender hold on this earthly life. Although he has a breathing tube, he continues to assist the machine with his own breathing efforts.

We are absolutely certain that he is aware that we are at his bedside by the reactions we receive from him – head movements, hand movements. The nursing staff concurs that it is an acknowledgement from Bill, not simply an autonomic reaction. In fact, the nurse told us that she squeezed one of his toes this morning and he lifted his hand and pointed his index finger at her, even through the dense fog of sedation. She said his mind and heart are strong. If his counts would return, he would have much more to fight with. It is a waiting game with life and death consequences.

It is heart-wrenching to see him in this condition, so close to leaving me, hanging on, hanging on. I spoke clearly to him today and told him that if he wanted to stay with us a while longer, he would have to assemble the greatest arsenal of physical and spiritual strength he’s ever called forth, but that if he wanted to leave, it was OK, I would support whatever choice he needs to make. I have a sense that he isn’t ready to give up or give in. Anyone who knows Bill knows that there is not a stronger will to be found.

Please pray for strength for him and for his blood counts to return. I pray that Jesus wraps his comforting arms around Bill, filling him with his infinite love. Please join me in this prayer.

Faithfully,
Nola

The Power of Love

To all,

Today Nola and I spent precious minutes with Bill in ICU. I know for a fact it was only minutes because they limit your time in ICU to minutes - even family. But if you asked me what I did today, those are really the only minutes I actually remember. Bill and Nola and me speaking quietly and softly holding hands. Well, Nola softly touching Bill's hand, us both speaking quietly and Bill holding on. We cried. They were powerful minutes - strikingly powerful.

Even though Bill was completely sedated today, I know he understood the power of the moment. When he heard Nola's voice his brow curled and his hand moved in complete defiance of the morphine. Trust me. It was powerful.

Power is a funny word. For as long as I have known Bill (some 20+ years) he has strived to understand the implications of the word...the power of love, the power of influence, the power of words, the power of silence, the power of pain, the power of humility, the power of prayer, the power of God. Today in that hospital room there was an aura of power...the power of Nola's undying love for Bill, the power of God's undying love for Bill and the power of Bill's everlasting commitment to give this everything he has for as long as it is God's will.

If Bill were awake and able I know he would be blogging today about the power of love and friendship, faith and miracles. On behalf of Bill thank you to Nola and all the blog readers for your love and friendship, keep the faith and pray for a miracle. Short of a miraculous recovery, I guess I can only pray that God's will be done and God bring him the peace and serenity he so deserves.

May the power of God's love be with you today and always, Bill.

A forever friend in love and faith,

Mary
Willow Lake, SD / Nashville, TN

Saturday Morning Update

We keep praying and hoping for a glimmer of improvement and there is none. Bill is actually in great trouble this morning. His kidney function has stopped, everything they're pumping into him has not kicked in, his platelets are at 3 (so low as to be meaningless), etc. etc. etc.

They are giving him two units of blood and platelets as I write, and are prepping him for kidney dialysis since he has no kidney output. The nephrologist indicated that without dialysis he will surely not make it, and the risk of dialysis is extremely high because they have to put in very large tubes and he has no platelets to coagulate his blood.

Our friend, Mary Schmidt, flew in last night and is staying with me at our house. I am at work and as soon as she gets to the office, we'll head to the hospital to sit with Bill.

I know how strong Bill's faith is and that if he is being called home, his bags are packed and he is ready to go. I wish I felt ready to let him go, but this is just so incredibly difficult. Please pray for all of us.

Nola

Friday Morning Update

Bill did not do very well overnight. Apparently the infection is making his lungs compressed, so they elected to put a breathing tube down his throat this morning to assist his lungs. He will remain fully sedated until the infection is finally controlled and they can remove the tube.

No visitors are allowed (except me, of course) - I will post again as things change. I'm going down this afternoon with the fervent hope that all of the antibiotics and fungicides that they're pouring into him finally start to work. Please pray that things change for the better soon as Bill is desperately ill.

Blessings,
Nola

The Valley Got a Little Deeper Today

Bill had a very difficult day today. Certain physical functions got the attention of his doctors and they moved him from the Oncology Ward to ICU so he could have constant medical attention.

He has an infection that they haven't gotten their arms around yet that is causing extreme abdominal swelling, which in turn puts pressure on his lungs. They were fearful of a perforated bowel, which would have been most devestating news, but the CT this afternoon indicated no perforations. The docs said he is not in the clear yet after a most trying day, but we are hopeful that they can control the infections and move him out of ICU in a few days. He definitely has a staph infection that they are typing to treat by administering the best possible antibiotics.

They put a B-pap machine on him today (very similar to a C-pap machine used for sleep apnea), and in his semi-conscious state, he is fighting it all the way.

In simple terms, Bill's condition is extremely serious. There were more than a few tears shed today.

Please, please pray that Bill is tended to by the Great Physican Himself . . . pray for his body to be free from infections and for his lower intestinal tract to remain in perfect form. Pray that he has a peaceful night.

Since Bill's condition is so serious, I will post daily to keep you informed of his progress until he can post himself - what a glorious day that will be!

Blessings,
Nola